A Lot Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a large few days for homosexual-related first person narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

All of our very first part pertains to all of us via xojane, the ladies’s internet site headed up by Jane Pratt (my character)

(i am serious) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled ”
I’m a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece falls under the “it simply happened in my experience” element that also existed at JANE journal and consists mainly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively fascinating personal experiences.

The anonymous author of this portion, who we’ll call “Ariel,” is really bisexual, but because she easily provides hit tasks to the woman male associates but does not date or frequently go down on women, this woman is, she describes, officially, merely a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She also identifies herself as “mostly directly” and “right” at various other things within the narrative.) The woman reputation started, she describes, when her first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at her school — went down on her for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it then instantly fled the scene fearing her very own incapacity to do these great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a prolonged time period.

She produces:

“Needless to say, term got around that she and I also had hooked up and this I’d kept their hanging, which had the odd aftereffect of offering myself folk-heroine status. Kelly known as me personally a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It was like some type of film conceit the spot where the character is actually recognised incorrectly as a celebrity and extends to drive in a limo and stay in an elegant hotel for the reason that it.”

This seemingly entirely exercised in her benefit, as she romped about in college hooking up with many “aggressive kinds just who had gotten off on the idea that I happened to be reluctant to permit a female touch myself.” Post-college, she moved on to your internet, in which she marketed their comfortable condition and quite often came across with girls for NSA sex.

Close to the end she problematically clarifies that when starting up with a female she actually is perhaps not drawn to, she merely shuts the woman vision and envisions someone else “while [the lesbian] does her thing.” Often it may seem like she wishes females to consume her away even though they may be presumably better at it than men are. She

could

decrease in it but “I am not online dating all of them, and that I do not think I would want my fetish corrupted by caring for a person sufficient to give back.”

I would personallynot want to sit down alongside Ariel on an aircraft, but her one-sided sexual encounters tend to be consensual and she’s simply telling a real tale of her existence, so I’m not yes what you should label of this (and that I’m curious to know what you make of it, if everything).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Great Men Project
) we now have
I hitched a Lesbian (and that I’m a Guy)
. The author, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended getting crushes for a passing fancy version of woman: the celebrity basketball player, the football onward, the swimmer. Some were lesbians. Some weren’t.” He wondered:

What exactly is it that received myself so often to women that had been same-sex drawn? It really was not the stereotypical male dream with what these people were undertaking during sex, and it also certainly had nothing in connection with a macho perception that i possibly could change a gay girl straight.

In parts, the portion (which really does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me of the quotation from

The Girls Next Door

,
that we quoted in an article about feminine masculinity
:

“…if we had to produce another generalization about lesbian taste, it might be that many us are powerfully drawn to women, gay or straight, breathtaking or not, which look like they are able to take care of on their own.”

The author eventually marries a lesbian exactly who displayed as direct, in which he found their own ensuing sex-life as unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him hit jobs and don’t really like entrance but cheerfully accepted his offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their sexless relationship finished in separation and a drug relapse (for him), they are apparently thoughtful to their ex-wife’s struggle in the place of marking the woman as misleading (as many regarding the commenters carry out):

She had originate from a traditional family who does have been profoundly embarrassed getting a homosexual youngster. She may always have identified, but performed the lady better to hide it, possibly wanting that her feelings might alter. Or she might-have-been like many females I understood, and just found her real intimate identity after currently being married to a person.

What is actually redeeming about it essay if you ask me that the writer’s conception of their own sex is mainly without the conventional male posturing any might anticipate in a piece similar to this (the guy even means themselves as “femmy”). Perhaps it appears that method because males therefore rarely come up with desiring strong, sports, effective ladies with short-hair; but it is refreshing none the less.

I don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for advising their unique stories, but it’s really worth pointing out that both narratives frequently drive about idea that bedroom conduct may be the ultimate/only litmus test of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s company, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning indication” he missed, whenever entrance is barely an entirely heterosexual act (it appears more likely Courtney dreaded the closeness of penetration with a man she did not wish become with, yet who knows) and slipping crazy, fundamentally, is approximately your own snatch but it is also concerning your center and it is largely about having passionate feelings. Those passionate emotions are just what transforms a hook-up commitment into a relationship, after all.

At long last at

neurological.com

we have a nice tale directly from pony’s mouth —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I think this is basically the first time the “very first time” series features highlighted a lesbian.

Essentially, in ninth level, the writer confessed to the woman companion that she had lesbian feelings on her behalf, and her best friend reciprocated, as well as proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian connection and they are nevertheless with each other now and this woman is a grown-up from inside the military!

It seems they will have but to simply take their unique union out of the cabinet, that will be some puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: works out this story ended up being composed before DADT ended up being repealed, even though it just adopted published, therefore you’ll find nothing puzzling occurring right here. This is simply straight-up nice in every single way, unequivocally.]

The main focus of this piece (that is really sweet and sweet) is found on the writer’s finding of
what lesbian gender is quite
:

We had never been down on each different, and I was actually convinced that is what we would meant whenever we mentioned we wanted to make love. (today I realize that absolutely even more to fucking than licking a lady’s snatch and contacting it everyday.)

She concludes:

I know that the majority of individuals disagree as to what virginity way to a homosexual girl, but virginity is completely personal, therefore truly is dependent on whom you’re asking. Some individuals might say penetration has to be involved, but I think it is as much as the individual dropping his/her virginity. If I feel i have missing my virginity, then goddammit, I have!

I spent a good many day and afternoon staring at word press, trying to figure out what point i really could generate about these parts. I imagined a whole lot about the reason we’d never ever release “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about this internet site but can not work through the reason that I’d fear 50 people would vow not to come back here in addition to remaning many-thousands of you would battle with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure up until the heat death of the world. We envisioned somebody posting “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to you via email immediately after which I envisioned the article conference in which we’d get to that story and all say “NO” at the same time.

In on the lookout for a time to gleam because of these stories, i have made an effort to determine what you’d consider or say, and that I can not, and I also wanna complete this article today to speed up the procedure of me determining what you think about these stories. Yup, for the first time since starting Autostraddle, I’ve got no clue what you should state about anything. Thus possibly I should simply want to know — what is actually your a reaction to these parts?